It was the year 1999 when all hell was supposed to break loose. The Y2K scare had everyone thinking that computers were going to crash and the world was going to be over due to panic over money, jobs, houses, even running water. It was also the year that Prince would finally get to have the biggest concert of his life. He actually got to see the night when people could really party like it was 1999 because it was! It was basically goodbye to a lot of unimportant things and hello to the new millennium. But 1999 brought us something very special. 1999 gave birth to something that will be forever recognized as a symbol of sexiness, longevity, strength, and downright awesomeness. 1999 gave birth to The MILF! For those people who do not know what the word MILF stands for please, allow me to shed some much needed light for you. MILF stands for – “mother I’d like to f#@k.” I will let your mind wander on what that F word is. It rhymes with truck.
Now the MILF has always been a vision in every young man’s dreams for many years before 1999 of course, but it just never had a universal name that everyone recognized. This did not occur until the movie American Pie was released in theatres around the country in the summer of 1999. There is a famous scene in the movie when one of the characters, (Stifler) has a typical high school house party with all his friends. As the party is going on there are some people upstairs admiring a picture of Stifler’s mom. They are yelling the word “MILF” at the picture and smiling and getting all excited. Someone notices this and asks the guys, “What does MILF mean?” The guys replied “mom I’d like to f@#k” and it has been history ever since. MILFS have been popping up all over the world due to this amazing word and appreciation for older sexy women. Unfortunelty, there has also been a lot of confusion surrounding the topic of the MILF. Confusion about things such as qualifications have led to there being a lot of “imposter MILFS” running around wrongfully accepting the MILF title. I am here to shed a little light on this problem and hopefully give the true MILFS a chance to shine the way that they are supposed to. Becoming a MILF is no easy task, just as it is no easy task becoming a Hall of Famer in professional sports. The MILF title is a very prestigious thing and I am here to make sure that it is not tainted with phonies and wannabe MILFS.
Before I get started on the MILFS, I have been asked by women to recognize the DILFS as well. The word DILF stands for – dad I’d like to f#*k. This is all I am going to say about this for one major reason. When it comes to the issue of older men doing anything sexually with underage women it is frowned upon in a major way. It just is not funny to hear about it. Most of the time it is even dangerous to speak or even think of such a thing. But, when the topic is about younger men doing things sexually with older women it is not as bad a thing in the public eye. For the most part it is something that a young man can be congratulated on for accomplishing. Plus it is funny. So if this article seems a bit one sided that is because it is. I am protecting my neck. I would not talk about grown men doing anything with young girls if my life depended on it. You are not going to catch me on that “How to Catch a Predator” show on CNBC, NOPE NOPE NOPE!!! Anyways, that is that, let’s return to these MILFS.
Firstly, I would like to discuss the main reason why the MILF is such an amazing thing to a young man. The MILF is ultimately a taboo. As a young man, it is not really all that common for you to be having sex with super hot girls as it is, so having sex with an older woman is definitely out of the question. The fact that this woman you are fantasizing about is in fact a mother too, well that just adds bonus points to the already amazing prize. Being able to score with a woman who has a kid your age or even older is just an awesome feeling because you are not suppose to be able to pull that off - especially not in junior high, or high school! I threw out those two time periods because of the importance that they have in the overall qualifications of the MILF. Women can only be deemed a true MILF if her children’s friends make jokes about having sex with her AND CAN ACTUALLY DO IT IF THE MOMENT PRESENTS ITSELF! This means that the young men must at least be in the 8th grade.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but there are no teenage MILFS or MILFS in their 20’s. That is just too young. Being a MILF is all about maturity and at these ages girls are not mature enough yet. I hear it all the time, friends trying to cheer their friends up that are newly pregnant and still in high school or just young and were not ready to have a child. The friend will tell them things like, “at least you will be a MILF when you have the baby.” Or they will tell them “that they will be a MILF in the future.” Please stop lying to these girls and giving them false hope. I understand comfort in rough situations is important in friendship, but leading your friend a stray is just as bad. You cannot tell them they will be a MILF because you do not know what they will look like after that baby. You know just as I do that sometimes having a baby can have dramatic effects on the female body and sometimes they are irreversible. What makes MILFS so awesome is that they withstood the hands of time and overcame the odds that were not in their favor. Most people assume that when a woman has a baby that her time is over for being desired in the same sexual way as she was prior to the baby. WROOOOONG!!!! If a women has that baby and over time keeps her desirability through those rough times, then that must be recognized and appreciated! Just like the Air Force has the longevity ribbon, the MILF title is like her longevity ribbon but way better!
The deeming of MILF should not be given at the younger ages because that is the way it was presented to us in the movie American Pie. I think it is important that we stick to these rules because it keeps the humor, and makes it nicer for the women. Guys 30 and up can still call women MILFS but it would be better to check with a youth first since ultimately it is our call. The taboo flies farther and farther out the window for having sex with mature women the older men get. It is okay for older men to have sex with older women because you are the same age anyway, big deal. Plus I think the women will like to hear that they are being desired sexually by a 25-year-old man compared to a 45-year-old man. Oh and women cannot deem other women MILFS, at all, period. It must be by a man. I understand that there are women who desire other women, I have no problem with that. But, what I do have a problem with is when there is a conflict of interest. They are both women, so I feel that the overall rating may be tainted by favoritism because they are the same sex. And I think there may be some pity in there as well. So to keep it nice, fair, and pure all MILF deeming will be done only by men. Women you guys have DILFS, go deem them.
Lastly, I wanted to talk about the other qualities MILFS have besides just having sex. Being that she is much older than you that means there is much she can teach you. Ask her questions about life since she has lived a bit more than you, or in some cases a lot more than you. Maybe she can teach you some secrets on how you can catch girls your own age in the future. Ask the MILF for advice about your day to day life and make her feel worth more than just a sexual outlet. She is a person too, remember. Do not think of her as a mother figure because that would be gross, think of her as a kind of mother figure but one that you could ask questions that you would not usually ask. These are not regular women by any means. If these women were apples on a tree they would have a different shine than the others. You must give them supreme credit because they deserve it. They are the elite, they are the marvelous, they are the MILFS.
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